Don’t ask me! LOL I just barely learned the difference myself. I’ve been saying that I’ve been in love a great many times, but if that were true, wouldn’t I be with one of them by now? The truth is, I’ve always wanted to be in love. I have loved many wonderful men in my life, but I can honestly admit that I’ve never been in love. I would like to believe that when I do finally fall in love, it would be with a man that loves me back just the same. Or else it’s just me lying to myself.
About a week ago an ex-boyfriend of mine came to pick up some things he left at my house a month after he left me. His cold treatment and lack of empathy of the pain he was putting me through was suffocating. I told him it was like cutting off a limb. He didn’t care. It was then I wondered if he ever did.
I fell apart all over again. Flashed backed to the night he left and it felt like we were breaking up all over again. I once described it as; “this must be what a wounded deer alone in the forest feels like”. I cried out to my friends and I asked the question, “Where did his love go?”. I got the best advice in my life. Choose your philosophy. I chose the one that took the pain away…
Coral: good question
Frank: The love goes to a place known as hate.
Jonathan: It's stored deep deep down, and then surfaces when needed. Though every love is different.
Corrina S DeMaria : My dear Frank, "Hate" is simply the absence of love. Where did the love go?
Anson: Yeah sometimes the love is still there but just not agreeable in nature. You still miss her but when together war breaks out. Lol
Erin: It's still there. You just have to find other ways to express it. Love of life, love yourself, etc.....
Corrina S DeMariaI just wonder where his went
John: Love is like a garden. It most be cultivated properly. Otherwise not-so-good things happen. Weeds, insects, under-watering, too much water, too much sun, etc (place your own metaphors). In the end, it just dies. Doesn't really 'go' anywhere. Just isn't there anymore.
Corrina S DeMariaBro! That's depressing ... but sadly, it's the only one I can relate to so far. Although, Anson , urs is familiar too. "War breaking out" sure rings a bell.
Katrina:My thoughts... As a relationship grows and changes... and once the infatuation has worn off...you learn things. These things can be stuff like different life goals, career goals, thoughts on politics, religion, children and thoughts on parenting, money and how to manage it. Once these truths come to light that's when love is tested. The failure of that test tends to be the result of loving what you thought you had as opposed at what you really do have. And that type love was never real at all...it was a mirage to begin with. Once that is realized then the love goes on to find the dream it fell for before....but in someone else.
Corrina S DeMariaWow Kat that was insightful. Reading that helped me out a great deal. As far as the love not being real, I do believe the feelings towards that love is real. They just had the wrong aim. They may not be classified as "love" in itself, but does not diminish the intensity of the feelings.
Katrina: Ofcourse the feeling towards that love are real. Just as when we are in the midst of a dream in a deep sleep...all we experience in that consciousness seems very real. Ever wake up from a dream and have to shake it off because it was so real?
True love happens when you share the same dreams, the same passions and you grow together. True love is being one another's best friend and confidant. True love is accepting the faults, forgiving the mistakes, compromising, sacrificing, and if each of you put in 110% at working towards making your partner happy, then you will both be happy. That kind of love stays put.